Sometimes people start therapy with the notion that it will help them to become a better person, someone who will be more lovable and deserving. The risk in this attitude is that it can be just another set-up for a person to feel that they have failed. Therapy is NOT about becoming who you think you should be, or who you have been told you should be. It is not about helping you to finally live up to the expectations that you have put on yourself or assisting you to contort yourself into who you think others want you to be. It is about helping you to stop beating yourself up, to question the expectations and false messages you have internalized from others, and to help you find acceptance and liberation, as you are. Many people live with a negative, critical voice in their head that tells them they are not doing enough or being enough. Therapy is not about helping you to finally live up to the expectations of that voice; It is about helping you to turn down the volume of that voice and to balance it with more balanced and true notions of yourself. For many people, when they can decrease the volume of the critical voice they find they are more able to hear other important parts of themselves, such as their intuition, their feelings, their hopes, their passions, and their creative, insightful self. Don’t let the critical voice dominate your internal dialogue, when the rest of you has so much to say. The critical voice may tell you that you need to go to therapy to become a better person, but once you are here, we will NOT work on improving you; we will work on helping you to challenge the internal critic and to find and express who you really are.